


In the times of war, love can be found

by ImNotAStick



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: (kal's only solution to adolin more precisely), I suck at tags, Infidelity, M/M, Multi, Oathbringer spoilers, confused kadolin, hurt/comfort or some such, kal's only solution to problems is to run away, sick adolin is a drama queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-07 02:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12831024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotAStick/pseuds/ImNotAStick
Summary: Blood on lipsyou kiss the death in my embraceforbiddenembracing my deathis kissing your lips bloodied.





	1. It was him all along

**Author's Note:**

> Because I just love to see the world burn. And freestyle keteks.
> 
> Inspired by this beautiful Tumblr post:  
> http://sun-dari.tumblr.com/post/167729819716/so-the-facts-are-kaladin-doesnt-like-seeng

Kaladin sat in the corner of the conference room, as far from the newly wedded couple as physically possible. He did realize he wasn’t in love with Shallan. Then why was he feeling this bitter still? He pointedly tried not to look at them and not because they were, again, being absolutely inappropriate, with Adolin holding her covered safehand with both of his, but because everytime he saw the loving expressions in their faces he felt inexplicable rage. And he felt ashamed for it. They were happy. He was their friend. He should be happy for them. He shouldn’t feel this way. But still he did.

***

The meeting has ended and people were slowly trailing away from the room. Kaladin lingered in his corner as he felt he needed some time alone, to think, and this was as good a place as any, since everyone was leaving. Well, everyone but Shallan and Adolin. When the last group of bickering scribes left the room Adolin whispered something in Shallan’s ear and she left too, a crown of red hair trailing her. Then Adolin approached him, hesitantly, and said: “I saw you looking at us earlier. Or rather, not looking.” He avoided meeting Kaladin’s eyes and fidgeted with his shirt sleeve resembling much more his younger brother than his usual, confident self. “So?” Kaladin asked, standing up and trying not to sound hostile. “So...I came to apologize. I tried to step back. I really did. I saw how you two look at each other. I wanted to let her go. But...but for some reason she stayed. I was sure she’d leave. It’s not like I can fly or anything. I gave her the chance to be with you. It was her choice. I...I’m really sorry.” Adolin blurted that all in one breath, even actually meeting Kaladin’s gaze as he said the last words, then closing his eyes as if he was waiting for a punch or something. Kaladin shook his head and sighed: “It’s OK. You two are perfect for each other. It’s not like I ever stood a chance. It’s completely understandable that she chose you. Who wouldn’t choose you over me?” with that Kaladin shook his head one more time and started toward the door. “Oh that’s some storm-leavings, bridgeboy!” Adolin exclaimed and grabbed Kaladin by the arm.

Kaladin froze. He felt his knees go weak and his heart rate rise to what shouldn’t be physically possible. He immediately wriggled out of Adolin’s grasp and ran. He heard Adolin call for him to come back but he only stopped once he reached his room. There he slammed the door shut and sat down on the floor. Could this be…?

A female figure of blue and white appeared on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” asked Syl. “Honestly? I don’t know. I think I need some time alone.” replied Kaladin, his head resting on his knees, angerspren bubbling around him.

A moment later somebody knocked on the door. “Bridgeboy?” “Oh Stormfather will he never leave me alone?” Kaladin muttered through gritted teeth. “Go away!” he yelled at the door. “Kal, I’m coming in.” said Adolin, opening the door. He briefly froze, uncertain as whether to enter the room, when he saw the amount of angerspren Kaladin has attracted. “Kal, tell me what’s wrong.” he pleaded, sitting on the floor beside him. “Nothing’s storming wrong, I just want to be left alone.” growled Kaladin, not ever looking at Adolin or raising his head. “Kal,” said Adolin, putting his hand on the other’s shoulder. Kaladin flinched. “What’s the matter? Do you hate people touching you that much? Or do you simply hate me?” asked Adolin, obviously hurt. “Right now? Both.” Kaladin snapped. “Is it because of her?” Adolin ran his hand through his hair - his storming hair which looked too golden to be real - bumping his elbow into Kaladin’s shoulder which caused him to flinch again. “Oh for Almighty’s sake, Kal!” Adolin rolled his eyes. “It’s NOT because of her, I do NOT hate you, I just want to be on my own.” Kaladin finally raised his head and looked at him. “Oh, okay. It’s just that I’m worried about you.” Adolin put his hand on his shoulder absentmindedly. With that, the amount of angerspren doubled. Seriously, stupid princeling and his stupid westerner upbringing. Why did he think it was okay to touch people all the time? Adolin squeezed his shoulder a bit and with that, his breath hitched in his throat and he felt shivers running down his spine. With that, Syl, who’s been zipping around them in her windspren form appeared as a human. “Oh. Oh!” she exclaimed, wide-eyed. “I think I know what’s happening!” The fact that Adolin looked directly at her let Kaladin know that she’s made herself visible to him too. “See, me and Pattern have actually discussed this, since human procreation is so interesting and everything, and I think the thing is, that…” that’s when both she and Adolin noticed that Kaladin has stood up and was heading toward the window. He opened it and jumped.

***  
After a while of flying, or rather falling, down by the side of the city tower Syl joined him.

“You’re awful, you know that?” Kaladin said.

“Why? You didn’t know what’s happening and neither did the prince so I wanted to clear that up for you! But I haven’t said anything after you left. You obviously don’t want him to know how you feel and I understand that. Or, well, I don’t. But I respect it.”

***  
Kaladin hasn’t seen the princeling for some time after that. He begged Dalinar to put him on oathgate duty instead of training squires with the spears on the training grounds, where he’d have to meet Adolin and suffer his questioning gaze. But it seemed like Adolin was trying to do the same, since after a week he appeared with a squad of soldiers who were on the rubble-cleaning duty in Thaylen city. They met at the platform and Kaladin tried hard to ignore him, until Adolin grabbed him by the arm again. “We have to talk.” “No we don’t.” snapped Kaladin and wriggled out of his touch. He rammed Sylblade into the slot which melded to copy her shape. Then he watched all the soldiers walk off the platform in Thaylen city and returned to Urithiru.

***

He was moved to the shattered plains’ gate through which the windrunners trickled by the time shouts sounded from the Thaylen one.”The prince has been hurt! Bring the healers!” Kaladin immediately took off. When he finally arrived to the central building he saw Adolin on the ground, the soldiers and Teft, who has been operating the gate, standing around him, a huge crossbow bolt sticking from his chest. Kaladin quickly assessed the situation. The bolt was on the left side of his chest but too high to be piercing his heart. “What are you waiting for? Run for Renarin! He should be at the Azish gate!” at that moment, two winded soldiers appeared. “He’s not there!” one of them blurted. “Then go find him!” shouted Kaladin and tried to remember his father’s teachings. Clean the wound. Only take out the bolt if you have appropriate supplies lest the patient bleed out. So Kaladin started cleaning the wound with shaking hands. He wasn’t used to this anymore. They had field surgeons now.

“Stay with me, princeling, don’t pass out.” he mumbled while ripping Adolin’s shirt open, trying to not get distracted by the rippling muscles and warm, coppery skin.

”Kal? Am I in the Tranquiline Halls yet? Why are you dead too? Did they get to you too? The fused? There was a surprise assault on Thaylen city, you know. I’m glad we’re dead together.” Adolin kept talking, obviously delirious from pain and blood loss.

“You’re not dead, princeling.” Kaladin growled. “And don’t you dare die now! Don’t you dare die!”

“If I’m not dead then why are you here with me? And why are you touching me like that? S’ inappropriate, you know. But don’t stop, please, don’t stop.” Adolin coughed and a trickle of blood ran down his chin. Then the took Kaladin by the hand. “Stay with me. I want you to be here with me.” he said.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Kaladin replied. “But I have to finish cleaning you.”

 

Before he could wriggle out of Adolin’s touch once again, Renarin came and dropped to the ground next to them. He started regrowing the tissue while Kaladin slowly, carefully took out the bolt. Right after his skin grew back Adolin sat up and Kaladin wasn’t sure whether to help him up or push him back down so he just held him. “Kal? I know. It all clicked when Syl...you know. I understand. And I don’t mind.” and with that he kissed Kaladin square on the mouth, holding him close, or rather falling on him, since he wasn’t really able to support his weight. Kaladin tasted Adolin’s blood in his mouth and knew this was wrong, so very wrong, but couldn’t pull away. He only came to his senses when he saw Shallan standing between the soldiers, who either fled or stared at the ceiling, blushing, at how inappropriate the whole situation was. Shallan gasped, her safehand to her lips, her face as red as her hair.


	2. Take what’s given and love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our love we give to take, hesitant.  
> Come!  
> Hesitate not!  
> Take what’s given and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I've decided to maybe probably continue with this and make it into happy Shakadolin, eventually? (Aka midterms over, I'm bored.)

Shallan ran. She ran till the voices calling for her vanished and then she dropped to the ground in an uninhabited room deep in the maze Urithiru was. She breathed in stormlight from the spheres in her pouch and illusions of different versions of her started swirling around her in a highstorm of faces, voices, smiles, frowns, red hair, dark hair, her own face changing between Veil, Shallan and Radiant, confused as to who she really was once again. She cried, wisps of stormlight coming from her mouth and nose.

“So many lies…” Pattern whispered from his usual place on her skirt.

“Everything is a lie, Pattern. All people are liars. Everyone lies. Why have I ever trusted anyone? Everything is a lie! My marriage is a lie!” she practically shouted the last sentence at Adolin as he opened the door, winded, from chasing her as she fled through the city tower. “I didn’t lie when I said I loved you.” he said kneeling in front of her. “I never lied to you, Shallan.” Adolin whispered to her, taking her by the hand. She pulled free of him and hid her still-changing face in her hands.

“Then why? I thought it was me choosing. Or rather me persuading Veil that he wasn’t right for us. When...when the whole time it was him you wanted, not me!”

“But Shallan...I love you. I mean, you too. I don’t...I don’t know. But I’ve never lied about my feelings for you.”

“Me too?” Shallan’s face changed to Veil’s. “You mean you fancy both of us?”

“Yes, yes, you, well, Shallan more, but I like him too.” Adolin blurted, looking confused when the sad, scared expression on Shallan’s face changed into a wolfish grin on Veil’s. It looked eerie mixed with the red eyes and the tear-stained cheeks. “Are you....are you gonna murder me now, Veil?” he asked, obviously startled. Veil looked mildly shocked at the question and changed to Shallan who immediately hid her face in her hands.

“Oh no, why this, why now,” she groaned as her face turned bright red.

“Why what?” asked Adolin, perplexed.

“I mean, it’s highly unconventional, but the world’s ending anyway, so social norms shouldn’t really matter anymore, should they?” said Brightness Radiant, smiling pleasantly.

“Will ONE OF YOU explain what’s going on?!” Adolin shouted, confused. In that moment it seemed to dawn on him. “Oh you mean…” his eyes grew wide and he smiled. “But no, my father will never allow that. For Almighty’s sake, he doesn’t even allow me to wear anything else than my uniform! This could never work!” he shook his head.

“Oh storms, grow up, your father married your aunt!” Veil snorted.

“Well if my father won’t kill me, Kaladin definitely will! As far as I know, he’s never even shown interest to be in a relationship! With one person! Let alone two!”

“Well then let’s go ask him!” said Veil and took off down the corridor.

“Veil no, not like this!” Adolin shouted and ran after her.

 

Veil knew where she’d find Kaladin. She knew he’d gone back to his work, at the oathgate, as if nothing has happened, and she was right. He stepped out of the control building just as she reached the platform.

“Hey bridgeboy!” she waved him over, smiling.

“What do you need, Brightness?” Kaladin asked.

At the moment Adolin reached them and caught her by the hand. Touching him, Shallan finally took control and when she realized what Veil was about to do, she ran into the central building to hide, or run away, embarrassed as never before. The last transformation, however, sucked the last bits of stormlight from her spheres, so this time Adolin had no problem chasing her. When he caught her, she immediately sat on the ground by the control building, hiding her face in her hands once again.

“Hey, I’ve never said I’m opposed to the idea!” Adolin said. “It’s just...not as easy as you, well, as Veil wants it to be. You can’t just walk up to someone and throw something like this into their face!”

“Something like what?” Kaladin, who’s been listening nearby, asked. Shallan and Adolin looked at each other, then at him, neither of them knowing what to say.  
“Mmmmm…” sounded from Shallan’s skirt. “Considering everything that has been said, I’m assuming Princess wants to mate.”

“What, with me?” Kaladin actually laughed out loud.

“Please, tell me, this is your spren trying to use sarcasm,” he said to Shallan.

“Well, actually…” Adolin started, not really knowing what to say, “see, I kind of like you, as you might have noticed…” Adolin waved his hand in the general direction of the Thaylen oathgate, “and turns out, Shallan doesn’t hate you either and Veil might actually have a thing for you!” he chuckled, hoping Kaladin would join him but he just stared at them as if not really understanding what Adolin was trying to say.

“Do you know what I mean?” Adolin asked, hoping Kaladin would understand and he’d avoid the rest of the extremely awkward explanation.

“You mean...you want...you want to...both of us?” Kaladin asked, disbelieving.

“Yes!” Adolin smiled. “Yes, we’d like to...if you…” he put his hand on Kaladin’s shoulder.

At that moment, Syl appeared near Kaladin’s head. “What, without the proper oaths?! Never!” she yelled, seeming angry.

“The world’s ending anyway, so social norms shouldn’t really matter anymore, should they?” Pattern replied in Radiant’s voice.

“Yes the world is ending and the oaths are the only thing that’s left!” retorted Syl, shaking with anger, clutching her tiny fists.

“I...this is too much,” Kaladin sighed and lashed himself to the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so very much for reading!


	3. Hope, as the war rages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the rage of war,  
> Dreams of love bloom.
> 
> In our hearts fearful,  
> Hope.  
> Fear not!
> 
> Hearts blooming with love,  
> Dreaming,  
> As the war rages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just needed to finish this. For my own peace of mind. I really needed a story of my favorite OT3 geting together and since I couldn't find one, I wrote it.  
> So here goes the finale.

“Kal, you can’t possibly be considering this!” Syl said. He was, once again, sitting in his room and hiding from the world. Weeks have passed without him talking to them or looking either of them in the eye.

“Why not? Will you die on me again?” he asked bitterly. 

“Well, it  can’t be exactly considered breaking an oath. It’s just...a lack of one. It’s wrong, still.” 

“But what if I want to be like everyone else? Be happy for a while? Not have to struggle to get out of bed every day?”

“And does it have to be this way?” 

“I don’t know Syl. They make me happy. She understands me. He makes me smile. Storms, he actually makes me wanna laugh sometimes! It feels so much easier when they are around.” 

“I don’t know, Kaladin. I don’t like this. It’s not right. Not this way.” 

“Is it not right to want to be happy?”

  
  


They were sitting on a couch in Shallan’s room, sipping tea, Adolin’s arm around her shoulders.

“So...you’re not opposed to Veil’s idea?” she asked, and Adolin laughed. 

“You...you’ve seen us up there, Shallan. You’ve seen what I’ve done. And I should have said this much, much earlier, I’m so very sorry for that. It was awful of me to do that to you. We should have talked. Although, what is there to talk about? How does one ask his wife for a permission to kiss, or court, another man? The thing is, yes, I like the I idea. I like him. And you.” 

“You...really do, don’t you?” 

“Is it so hard to believe? Is it so hard to believe that I, Adolin Kholin, the highprince of the Kholin princedom, a man, who has refused the throne, would fall in love with a man, and a former slave at that?” 

“No. It’s so hard to believe I’d ever be so lucky. I’m too lucky to have you alone, but the possibility of being with you both...it’s too good to be true,” Shallan smiled at him and put her head on his shoulder.

“So...you don’t mind either? Me being attracted to him?”

“No, silly! I want you to be happy. And I can really see this working. I mean, I still don’t know how much of it is Veil seeping through and how much is my own interest in him. But I like him. I genuinely do. In what way, I don’t know. But we will figure it out. We will make it work.”

“It’s not like we’ll ever persuade him to agree to it,” Adolin shook his head.

“We will. All we need is a plan.” Shallan grinned and kissed him, long and hard.

“I’m confused,” Adolin said, breaking the kiss, “but is this a part of that plan?”

“Shut up, silly,” Shallan giggled and kissed him once again, hugging him tightly.

“Mmmmmmm...curious…” sounded from under the couch.

  
  


It was one of those days again. One of those days when he couldn’t understand how everyone, how anyone, could laugh, or joke, or even go about their everyday lives like nothing was happening. Couldn’t they see they were at war? A war with an immortal enemy that was nowhere near ending and he just wanted to be over with it, with everything, and just sleep. He felt so very tired, so fed up with all the problems they were facing. But he couldn’t rest. Not now, when Odium’s troops were gathering outside the Thaylen city once again and it was just a matter of time when they’d strike. He was walking through the long corridors of Urithiru, determinedly making his way into a conference room, where Dalinar’s generals were discussing their next course of action. 

“Kal, have you thought about...you know?” Syl appeared above his shoulder. 

“Yes,” he replied, determined not to discuss the topic further with her.

“See, I don’t want to see you this sad. I know you’re upset. And not just your usual upset. I want you to be happy. I just...still don’t think it’s right.”

“Look, Syl,” Kaladin stopped, turning toward her, realizing how crazy he looked, talking to the wall, “I want to give it a try. It just...it feels right.” She opened her mouth to object but he quickly continued: “We don’t have to, we won’t go all the way, immediately. I just want to try. See what happens.” 

Syl sighed and nodded once, looking not completely convinced.

“Actually, you know what?” he mumbled to Syl as he saw Adolin rushing past him.

He grabbed the highprince by the arm and rushed him into a nearby alcove. “I made my mind,” he said, his voice trembling with anxiety, and kissed Adolin roughly. Adolin tensed briefly, but then melted into the kiss, opening his mouth, his tongue finding its way past Kaladin’s teeth. This time, Kaladin actually had time to enjoy the kiss and found, to his surprise, the princeling to be incongruously gentle, one of his big, calloused hands stroking Kaladin’s cheek, the other one resting on his hip.

After a while they broke the kiss, breathless. “I’m glad you did, bridgeboy.” Adolin said, looking at him like he was some sort of a wild animal that would flee at  any noise louder than whisper. In that moment they heard footsteps, soft, but rushed. 

“Adolin!” a feminine voice called. “Oh,” Shallan stopped by their alcove. 

“Your plan has worked, gemheart,” Adolin grinned at her.

“Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes, “we need to go! There’s news from the Thaylen city!”

“What plan?” Kaladin asked, confused.

“I...actually have no idea,” Adolin shrugged, then scrambled out of the alcove, quickly following her, straightening his uniform as he went. Kaladin took off after them.

  
  


They found Dalinar surrounded by his generals, reading a message his spanreed was writing. He raised his eyes toward them. “It’s queen Fen.” He looked pale like Adolin has never seen him before. “It has begun. And it’s not like the last time. There’s five thunderclasts, at least. They...they won’t last long without us.”

“Alright then, I’ll go get my stardplate. We’ll meet by the gate?” Adolin said, his voice much calmer than he actually felt.

“No son, you’re staying.”

“What? I am not! You need all the help you can get! I’m a storming shardbearer!”

“What we need is you, alive! Need I remind you, you’re a highprince now, Adolin! You can’t just march off to battle!”

“You fought all the time when you were a highprince!”

“The times have changed! There’s no time to argue! Stay, and take care of the kingdom...of Roshar, if we fall.” 

Right, they let the storming  _ queen of Alethkar _ fight, but not him. They could obviously spare shardbearers, but not surgebinders.

“Go alert the bridgemen!” he heard Kaladin bark orders to Teft.

“Kal?” Adolin turned to him. “You all are coming back. Don’t even think about anything else! Not...not now!” and with that, Adolin kissed him, right then, right there. He didn’t have time to enjoy the shocked expression on his father’s face, much more unsettled, than when Adolin confessed to killing Sadeas. The times have changed, indeed. Kaladin pulled away and said “Yes sir Princeling.” with a playful smile, that didn’t fit the occasion at all. As everyone was slowly leaving the room, Shallan approached him and said: “We are coming back. We’ll come back and be happy. Don’t worry my dear.” 

But he did. The worry crushed his insides, suffocated him, made him dizzy. He embraced Shallan, then gave her a quick kiss and watched as she caught up to Kaladin and they left, side by side. 

He watched his petite fragile wife leave for battle against enormous stone monsters and immortal gods. And he felt terrified to death. Terrified like never before, of everyone he has ever loved dying while he sat here, useless, years upon years of training with sword for naught, as he was now too valuable to fight. Too valuable but absolutely worthless in their current situation. He felt left behind. Forgotten. Abandoned. Lonely. He leaned against the wall and wrapped his arms around his body. In that moment, he heard a voice. More felt than heard, actually. He felt those words deep inside him. It was the same one he felt during the first battle of Thaylen city:

 

_ “You’re not alone. You never will be. I’m here, with you. Always.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know this can't really be considered a happy ending, but it just...felt right, I guess. And I wanted it to be more Adolin-centric. There's never enough Adolin!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
